Restless: When a Gorgeous Future Invades an Uncomely Present

InvasionEarly this year, I visited a very senior colleague in his city. He was in my city five months earlier to speak at a friend’s event. His visit was a rare opportunity for my wife and I to listen to wisdom speak. We were glued to our seats with rapt attention as he wowed us with his fluid presentation. After his last session, his host allowed us to have a word with him.

I had longed to meet this man many years ago. That was the time – the finest hour. It was a crash course. He shared some very deep and insightful thoughts with us – an abridged version of twenty-five years of industry experience.

So I arrived at the venue of the event in his city in good time that morning. I soaked up the aesthetic feel of the auditorium. I believe Destiny scheduled all that happened in the auditorium that day. That event left an indelible impact on me – too indelible to erase. I have since known, in retrospect, that it wasn’t just one of such events he normally would hold. In his characteristic style of delivery, he spoke to my trepidation as well as my expectation. But it wasn’t his delivery that made me sit spell-bound at the edge of my seat me. Rather, it was a stirring song from a handful group of talented young people.

I must say that prior to that time I had never heard that song. Apart from the near-perfect rendition from these skilled singers and musicians, my ‘wow’ experience came from the lyrics of the song:

“There is a cord that resounds in my ears
It’s calling me deeper, deeper
Breaks every failure and removes all my fears
It’s calling me deeper, deeper
See the place that I’m in can no longer contain my destiny
Though it may have some pain but I adhere to the call inside of me
It’s calling me deeper, deeper…
This can’t be it
God is so much bigger than this
I was at a point where I wanted to quit
Then I heard a new cord
Calling me deeper, deeper, deeper…”

I love good music. Deeply. For me, good music goes beyond the rhythm of a song, though that is a necessarily part of it. For me, good music is embedded in the lyrics of a song. That is what evokes my emotions. That is what touches my soul. That is what causes tears to roll. That is what strikes the cords of my heart. That song struck those cords in the most brutal of ways.

I can relate to the experience of the lyricist – Marvin Sapp. I, too, have heard these resounding cords innumerable times in my ears. I have heard this voice of Destiny bellow to me over and over again. It calls my name in the clearest of articulations. It bids me to rise higher. It points me upward to new lofts. It challenges me to take onward journeys. To scale the utmost heights. And whenever I would shout back in anger and frustration that the path is dark and dreary; that the way is rough and rugged; that my strength is small; and that my frame is frail – this voice would always whisper to me in soothing relief, “This is not you. This is not your place. You weren’t meant for this. You are more than this.”

I have been in a dilemma for quite some time now. I have repeatedly experienced a very strong gravitational force pulling me to the center of my ‘earth.’ I have been restless. Many times I have feared being torn apart. I cannot quantify this torque. Neither do I know how the tension in those pulls could be empirically measured. I have had to square up to an unbroken stream of rumblings that vehemently impinge on my innermost being. I am the beleaguered ‘fighter’ at the receiving end of heavy jabs from an invisible ‘opponent.’ My ‘challenger’ buffets me to move out of today’s inconvenience into the exquisite convenience that tomorrow holds.

I have been restless.

I am still restless.

Because tomorrow is colliding with today.

I have been twitchy.

I am still twitchy.

Because a gorgeous future is invading an uncomely present.

I can still remember my high school science lessons. Come with me for a brief moment to my Physics class. Let’s take a refresher course in Matter.

Press Enter.

Matter in the solid state maintains a fixed volume and shape, with component particles close together and fixed into place. Matter in the liquid state maintains a fixed volume, but has a variable shape that adapts to fit its container. Its particles are still close together but move freely. Matter in the gaseous state has both variable volume and shape, adapting both to fit its container. Its particles are neither close together nor fixed in place. As a gas is heated from absolute zero, when it is (in theory) perfectly still, its internal energy (temperature) is increased. The particles speed up and its temperature rises. This results in greater numbers of collisions with the container per unit time due to the higher particle speeds associated with elevated temperatures. The pressure increases in proportion to the number of collisions per unit time.

That the end of class.

Press Exit.

If this gaseous state of matter describes your current state, it therefore means that I have a witness. So we share in this universal experience. This relentlessness that you experience is predicted on vigorous random motion within you.

Something is changing. Something is moving. Something is shifting. Something is birthing. The antique is clearing the way for the contemporary.

You’re feeling a discomfort. You’re experiencing birth pains. The old version of you is giving way. The new version of you is pushing through. That’s why you’re experiencing the tension. That’s the reason you’re having the collision.

Could this be the beginning of a journey to what Abraham Maslow calls self-actualization?

If it is, then you are learning its shape, seeing its colour, perceiving its smell, and hearing its voice. For sure.

This cord doesn’t only resound in Marvin’s ears. Or only in my ears.

Certainly, I know that the whole of humanity shares in this experience. If you do not experience these billowy, tempestuous rumblings at all, then I think you should be examined to ascertain if really you are human.

I have been restless.

I am still restless.

Because my tomorrow is colliding with my today.

I have been twitchy.

I am still twitchy.

Because my gorgeous future is invading my uncomely present.

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One Response to Restless: When a Gorgeous Future Invades an Uncomely Present

  1. Pingback: Restless: When a Gorgeous Future Invades an Uncomely Present | bryceedem

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