WHAT FOOTBALL TEACHES ABOUT RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT.

JUAN MATA OPENS HIS HEART TO CHELSEA FANS IN EMOTIONAL GOODBYE LETTER.

Juan Mata has taken the unusual step of writing an open letter to Chelsea fans following his £37.1 million move to rivals Manchester United.

In the letter, published on his official website, Mata opens his heart to the Chelsea fans who so adored him during his time at Stamford Bridge, explaining why he felt it necessary to leave the club – and for a direct rival no less.

In an era where players are often roundly abused by supporters who once idolised them, Mata’s lovely gesture is a reminder that a bond can exist between players and fans even after their time at a club has come to an end.

Mata was always incredibly highly regarded by Chelsea fans and it is likely that with his emotional missive, he will have ensured he always retains a place in the affections of Blues supporters.

“As you can imagine this is a very important day in my life, and with these lines I would like to express the memories and emotions that come to me as I write,” Mata explained.

“This letter is written from my heart, and first of all I would like to say that I will never forget all the affection given to me by the Chelsea fans. From the very first day until the last. With your support and affection I have grown up as a player and I have had an amazing time both on and off the pitch. I will always feel the gratitude towards you. Always. No words are enough to give back all the things I have received.

“There has been plenty of good moments: the FA Cup, my first trophy as a Blue; the immense happiness of winning titles for the first time in the club’s history, such as that magical Champions League night in Munich and the Europa League. Thank you so much for the way you have treated me, you have been unbelievable. I hope you understand that after going through a complicated and, for me, new situation in the last few months, I believe this is the best choice in order to carry on with my football career and to keep enjoying this sport.”

The “complicated situation” Mata refers to is Jose Mourinho no longer regarding him as a first-choice pick despite being named the club’s Player of the Year for two consecutive seasons. However, the Spaniard resisted the temptation to have a pop at his former manager, and instead in his thoroughly classy letter wanted to pay tribute to employees at all levels at Stamford Bridge.

“I thank all my former team mates for these two and a half years and I wish them the best, personally and professionally, for the future,” he wrote. “Of course I have been closer to some of them, but the most important thing is that my years in Chelsea have left me with great friends. Friends forever, football rivalries aside.

Juan Mata

“I also want to highlight the day-to-day job of every member of the Chelsea staff: medical team, kit men, staff at Cobham and Stamford Bridge, media and marketing department, Chelsea TV team… All of them are very important in making this club a great one. Thank you for your treatment and your efforts to make the life of the players easier.

“Furthermore, thanks to every manager I have had the pleasure to work with during my time here. They have all been a big help for my progression as a player. I have always respected their decisions, whatever they were; they made me more mature and a stronger person. You learn from everything, and certain situations make you think about other team mates who are coping with similar situations more regularly.”

And Mata finished his letter to Chelsea supporters in emotional fashion. “I will never forget my time in Chelsea and the affection I take with me, I will keep forever. I wish you the best. A big hug to all of you. THANK YOU so much, Juan.”

– By Eurosport.

In December 2011, I scooped football news that made me think real deep. I wrote a piece about those football news in January 2012 titled: HENRY, JUAN AND JOSE: MY 2011 INSPIRATIONAL MODELS. Here’s an excerpt from that piece:

‘‘Chelsea forward Juan Mata insisted he would not celebrate ‘out of respect for a club and supporters that always treated me well’ if he scored against his former club – Valencia, during a UEFA Champions League game. He was given a hero’s welcome at the airport on arriving Spain.’’

-September 28, 2011

Juan has taught me – first when he left Valencia to Chelsea in 2011, and recently when he left Chelsea to Manchester United last week – that in life, relationships come to an end.

That to enter the next season, I must learn to exit properly.

That I should never slam the door when I leave, but close it. Gently. In love.  For I may need to walk back through it someday. I may.

That I should close the door with grace.

That I should close the door, but keep open a window.

That I shouldn’t throw a party when ill and misfortune tumbles into the tent of former friends and colleagues.

That I shouldn’t rejoice at their calamity.

That I shouldn’t disparage them when adversity tumbles into their house.

That I shouldn’t broadcast their misfortune on CNN, ‘‘Nice, so nice. That serves him/her right.’’

That I should always remember the nice and good things they did to and for me, even if I could only remember just one.

That I should major on the positives, and minor on the negatives.

That there is no permanent lead in life. So I should stay cool.

That God can turn the epilogue of a tragedy into the prologue of a comedy.

That God can change times and seasons.

That a player who was benched in his former club can be paid twice his former salary in his new club; and can be given a major role, enough playing time and first team shirt in his new club.

Thank you, Juan Mata, for teaching me – and us? – these important lessons in life.

INDELIBLE IMPACT: MOURINHO’S FOREWORD IN DROGBA’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY.

“I’m a person who likes to treasure memories, and with them I can tell the world many things. I’m not a writer, even less a poet, but my life has been rich with stories, stories full of extraordinary moments. Looking back at them, I can find only a few special people who I will keep in my soul and in my heart forever.

Didier Drogba came into my life in the fifth minute of a Champions League game in Marseille’s mythical Velodrome. I’d hardly sat down when that giant with the number 11 on his shirt scored. I remember he celebrated that goal like it was his last and he turned an already hostile atmosphere into a fireball of flares, chants and emotion.

The crowd went mad, the noise was deafening. At half-time I found him in the tunnel and told him: ‘I don’t have the money to buy you, but do you have any cousins that can play like you in the Ivory Coast?’ In the middle of this tense qualification game he laughed, hugged me and said: ‘One day you’ll be in a club which can buy me.’

Six months later I signed for Chelsea. I had found a super powerful club which everybody wanted to negotiate with, everybody wanted to be linked to – and everybody wanted to play for. I had a number of options, but I arrived and said: ‘I want Didier Drogba.’ Doubts and questions were raised by a few people: ‘Why this one?’, ‘Why not that one?’, ‘Are you sure he will adapt?’, ‘Is he really that good?’ ‘I want Didier Drogba,’ I said.

A few days passed and I met with Didier in a private airport in London. Again he hugged me, but this time in an unforgettable way: an embrace that showed this man’s gratitude, and the affection he feels towards people who mean a lot to him. Indescribable. Then he told me: ‘Thank you. I will fight for you. You won’t regret it. I will stay loyal to you forever.’ And that’s just what he’s done.

His loyalty came out in his leadership and in the way he always faced up to the difficult moments. Moments when nothing else matters than to be there for your leader and your colleagues. This was a person I knew I could count on whenever and wherever I needed. When the team was under pressure he would go back and help the defenders; when he felt pain he would stretch himself to the limit and never give up. Then of course came what he did best: he scored and scored. Those goals brought him titles, amazing awards, but what stays with me are the countless stories we have together.

The FA Cup final at the new Wembley Stadium, 2007. Manchester United: the last game of the season. A lot of people thought this would be my last game in charge of Chelsea. It was a great battle, and then Didier scored in extra-time. The final whistle blew and everybody went mad – apart from two calm individuals. I ran into the dressing room to call my wife. One player avoided the immediate celebrations and followed me down the tunnel. It was Didier, chasing me for a hug. The game was over but in his mind as he left the pitch was only one thing: to hug me as soon as possible.

Was he remembering our first encounter? Our second? Or was he thinking that this embrace could be the last…? He found me, we hugged and we cried. Didier is a special person. And I repeat if I may: person. I could say player of course – and he’s an unbelievable one – but above all, his impact on the world at the moment is as a person: as an African, as an emperor of the Ivory Coast, as a father, and as a son and as a friend. And some of us have the privilege to have him in our lives.

Months after the Cup final I was out of Chelsea. As on the first day, there came that same embrace. I couldn’t speak and Didier could only say: ‘This is not possible, this is not possible, this is not happening.’ I could only find the strength to turn and walk away.

Perhaps this preface should focus on Didier the player. But the player everybody knows – the leader, the title collector, the benefactor as well. All these things he has achieved with skill, effort and humility.

Didier is in my life as one of the best players I have managed in my career. But much more importantly, he’s in my life as one of the best and most unforgettable friends. Together, the two of us side by side, fighting for the same thing? Far away? In different clubs? In different countries? Or old, with Didier in retirement and me coaching in a wheelchair? It doesn’t matter.

Didier. Always near to my heart.”

– Jose Mourinho.

 

 

 

Culled from Soccerly.com; October 17, 2013.

TAKE A MESSAGE TO ‘JOSEPH’

These are NOT the words of a frontier lad who lost his love when he turned ba-ad…

These are words to a young lad who may lose his spark because his brothers have turned ba-ad…

This is to ‘Joseph,’ the son of Jacob…

Your brothers can take your beautiful, attractive coat of many colours from you, but they cannot take your inspired, inventive mind of many colours from you.

What’s inside is far superior to what’s outside. They can destroy the coat ON YOU, but they cannot destroy the coat IN YOU.

The ‘coat’ IN YOU can, and doubtless will, produce a million, incomparably beautiful coats ON YOU.

And on countless others. Anywhere.

Joseph, don’t cling to stuff.

Prove nothing to no one.

Learn to sometimes walk away.

From ‘legitimate’ stuff.

You must know that even permanent secretaries don’t always remain permanent.

Time is a game-changer, the processor of all things.

Choose your fight. If you must fight at all, that is.

Don’t wait for folks to tell you on that day, ‘Rest in Peace.’ You won’t hear.

Live in peace. Now. Daily. Some things are not worth your muscle.

You must learn to forget Eseks and Sitnahs, Joseph.

Rehoboths beckon.

And always will.

Don’t take this message to Mary.

This message is for JOSEPH.

For all the JOSEPHS.

Dear Desperado…

I write to you as a fellow club member.

I’m your skilled colleague in the art and science of desperation.

But…

…I’m in transition.

I’ve applied for de-registration. And club management has accepted my resignation. Soon my name would be struck off the list. I’ll be your ex-club member. I’m counting the days. I’m happy; I’m very happy.

My experience puts me in pole position to advise you against remaining in this club. 

As you normally would expect, I’m writing with mixed feelings: a feeling of blitheness that you’d see my reasons to leave the club and enjoy peace and freedom that would eternally be yours thenceforth; and a feeling of melancholy that you’d discard my reasons and still remain in the club and experience ineluctable consequences.

I don’t stutter, but please accept my sincere apologies for breaking the flow as I speak with you. It’s because I’m overwhelmed with emotion. I’m sorry that you have to keep straining your ears to hear me.

Niagara falls isn’t located on my face, but it seems these tears wouldn’t just stop falling.

Cascading.

I cry because desperation has caused me to sell myself cheap. To lose my dignity and pride.

Many times.

When you’re a desperado, you are at the beck and call of those to whom you stoop low. You are at their mercy, at their whim. I’ve been there. I tell you it isn’t a place to be. Never get there. Never live there. Experience is advising you.

Nothing devalues a person as compromise of long-held standards. Particularly when others have known you for years as a person of high values.  Desperation forces you to rip-up, in a swift moment, the foundation which had taken you pains and years to build.

I bow my head in shame and guilt. I’ve been a captive of  this monster.

I have traded my power of choice many times, making do with what is given me. And nothing more. Desperation turns you into a dignified slave. You lose your voice, and go with Hobson’s choice.

In desperation, people step beyond guarded boundaries they have set to protect themselves. They throw caution to the wind, and, in consequence, reap bountiful harvest of regret and remorse.  Look at me; I’m contemporary Esau of Bible history.

I know the colour of regret and the smell of remorse.

I know the shape of misery and the size of melancholy.

I know the length of pain and the breath of agony.

I don’t know how Edward Snowden – the computer analyst whistleblower who leaked classified documents leading to revelations about America’s surveillance on phone and internet communications – feels right now. But however he may feel, I think Snowden’s feeling would be absolutely infinitesimal compared to the agonizing feeling desperados afterward have for revealing classified information about themselves because they wanted to attract sympathy, evoke emotions, or receive favour. I don’t know if women almost always fall more than men here. I can’t tell. I don’t know. I’m not sure. Perhaps someone could conduct this research. That would be nice. Till then.

My fellow desperado, I would have you know that this art has landed people in catastrophes of cataclysmic proportion. Travel back with me in history.

Case in point: An Israeli king lost his throne.

“Saul…(and) his soldiers…(were) scared to death. He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel. Samuel failed to show up at Gilgal, and the soldiers were slipping away, right and left. So Saul took charge…He went ahead and sacrificed the burnt offering. No sooner had he done it than Samuel showed up…Saul answered, “When I saw I was losing my army from under me, and that you hadn’t come when you said you would…So I took things into my own hands… “That was a fool thing to do,” Samuel said to Saul. “If you had kept the appointment that your God commanded, by now God would have set a firm and lasting foundation under your kingly rule over Israel. As it is, your kingly rule is already falling to pieces…”

Another case in point: A patriarch births a global warlord.

“Sarai, Abram’s wife, hadn’t yet produced a child. She had an Egyptian maid named Hagar. Sarai said to Abram, “…sleep with my maid. Maybe I can get a family from her.” Abram agreed to do what Sarai said…Abram had been living ten years in Canaan when this took place. He slept with Hagar and she got pregnant. When Hagar learned she was pregnant, she looked down on her mistress…Sarai was abusive to Hagar and Hagar ran away. An angel of God found her beside a spring in the desert; it was the spring on the road to Shur… He said, “Hagar…go back to your mistress….from this pregnancy, you’ll get a son: Name him Ishmael…He’ll be a bucking bronco of a man, a real fighter, fighting and being fought, always stirring up trouble, always at odds with his family…”

Desperation is the natural action – a foolish one – of a person who is trapped in a cage called time.

It shows in the frequency of your emails, phone calls, text messages, personal visits, unnecessary niceties, and  excessive Public Relations. Once people get to know that you’re desperate, they’ll treat you less than you’re worth, less than you deserve, less than they should.

So, let me get this clear to you:

The solution to desperation is the two keys on your input device: Control and Delete.

You Control.   You Delete.

So when ‘internal hurricanes’ gather momentum inside you, or external pressures mount outside you, first press Control and hold for at least thirty minutes.

Then press Delete. Keep repeating these actions in cyclic continuance. At its very best, this ‘therapy’ is for alleviation, not eradication.

Recall that I told you I’m in transition.

I applied for de-registration. Breaking news is that club management has accepted my resignation. So I’m out of the club. My name is finally off the list. Henceforth you refer to me as an ex-club member.

Dear desperado, I advise you to resign from Desperate People’s Club.

Bow out in pride. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.  Decide that from today, from now, you’ll live an honourable life.

With warm affection,

Your ex-club member,

Bryce.

 

Please Note:

These are not necessarily my experiences. I had to play the character. I had to write in the 1st person so I could effectively articulate my thoughts.

Bear The Stretcher: 3 Reasons You Should Help The Wounded.

I gave my second speech at Leeds City Toastmasters in August 2012. The speech, entitled “That’s Something to Remember,” was predicated on the UK Armed Forces Day in June.

I had earlier in the day taken a virtual tour of the National Arboretum – a 150-acre of wooded parkland in Staffordshire. It’s artistic and beautifully designed memorials made it easy for me to learn and reflect. It’s a center of remembrance; a special place that remembers Servicemen who had served, and who still serve, the UK in many ways.

Just three months earlier while receiving the award for distinguished humanitarian leadership, Prince Harry made an incredibly sobering statement:

“So many of our Servicemen and women have made the ultimate sacrifice; so many lives have been lost and so many changed forever by the wounds that they have suffered in the course of their duties. For these selfless people, it is after the guns have fallen silent, the din of battle quietened, that the real fight begins – a fight that may last for the rest of their lives.”

Wounds and Injuries are inevitable in life.

Soldiers who don’t get wounded are those who don’t go to battle. They lazy on in the officers’ mess. Athletes who don’t get injured are those who don’t get into the game. They recline on the bench. No soldier presents himself to his enemy, or invites his enemy to his camp, to be attacked. It’s as he gets busy in the line of duty – in the cross-fire – that he gets wounded. And because life is a fight, an unceasing fight, there are bound to be casualties. Wounds and injuries are inevitable in life. So “it is after the guns have fallen silent, the din of battle quietened, that the real fight begins – a fight that may last for the rest of their lives.”

Esprit de corps…

That’s a core philosophy in the military that underscores not just the cohesion of a unit or another military group, but also describes such values as honour and commitment in the service.

Esprit De Corps

It epitomises pride for, devotion and loyalty to, other members of the service with which the soldiers fight and serve. That’s why it’s grave offence in the military to fight a soldier-colleague or to pass up a wounded colleague.

I believe we all should adopt this military philosophy as a guiding principle in life. We should bear the stretcher. Help the wounded. And never pass up a bleeding person. Around us. Or anywhere. Daily we see mighty host advancing. Fierce and long the battle rages. Now and then we see ‘soldiers’ fall by. Battle-weary. Courage almost gone. It’s your sacred duty to cheer your comrades. To tell them, ‘Hold the fort.’ That reinforcement will soon appear. That victory is nigh.

It’s against esprit de corps when you break off a bent reed. When you put out a dying flame. Instead, you should encourage the fainthearted. Those who despair. Tell them, ‘Don’t tire out; don’t quit.’ You should bear the stretcher. Help the wounded. And never pass up a bleeding person. By doing that, you practice the service philosophy of esprit de corps.

Here are three reasons you should help the wounded:

(1) You Demonstrate You Value Their Lives.

A National newspaper will not use a banner headline for breaking news of a bird who got killed by teenage boy. But this morning the small passenger plane crash into a building at at the local wing of the Murtala Muhammed Airport, Lagos, Nigeria, went viral. Why? Because of the value of human life.

Irrespective of tribe, race, nationality, socio-economic status, or accomplishment in life, there’s a music everyone of us dances to when it is played; cord that binds us together. It’s the cord of a shared humanity.

Every human person has feelings and emotions; feelings of love, care, empathy, and belonging. When you help a wounded person, you demonstrate your belief in a shared humanity.

Bear The Stretcher

I think we should re-examine the humanity of those who pass wounded people up. They may not be humans. They may be robots.

(2) You Believe Their Wounds Shall Heal.

You’re saying to the wounded, “I’m helping you battle back. You can bounce back.” You’re saying, “Hey, we fall, but we get up.” I have read about athletes who came back from very worse injuries to win medals because their coaches, or teammates, or families, or some other people helped them to recuperate. When you bear the stretcher, you support the wounded to reclaim their lives. You give them a chance to live again. You’re telling them that’s not the end of their lives. You’re telling them that they can bounce back.

(3) You Stockpile Healing For Your Wounds.

Since you don’t know what would happen to you throughout your life, by helping those who are wounded you store up healing for your yet-to-be-inflicted wounds from the enemy’s gunfire or from the cruel weapons of life. You secure help for yourself at the appropriate time of need in the future when you’d need it most. You don’t suddenly prepare for war when war breaks out. You prepare for war when there’s no war. 

Help The Wounded

Every time you help a wounded person, you’re accruing good deeds into an invisible trust fund. You’re making tangible deposits of goodwill into a tangible but unseen account. You’re building a trust fund with your name on it. None of those good deeds is put in a row marked Wasted. The Trustee, a shrewd business manager, guards and secures your investments, and posts every act of kindness to an invisible account that you’d draw from at a  time in the future.

From Jerusalem to Jericho…

I’ve read the following story repeatedly: As a man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, robbers attacked him and grabbed everything he had. They beat him up and ran off, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road. But when he saw the man, he walked by on the other side. Later a temple helper came to the same place. But when he saw the man who had been beaten up, he also went by on the other side. A man from Samaria then came traveling along that road. When he saw the man, he felt sorry for him and went over to him. He treated his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put him on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him. The next morning he gave the innkeeper two silver coins and said, “Please take care of the man. If you spend more than this on him, I will pay you when I return.”

Wouldn’t you be a person who helps people up, rather than one who beats them up, or passess them up?

Help The Wounded

It takes love, courage, empathy, and sacrifice to help the wounded.

Esprit de corps!

Never pass up a fellow, wounded ‘soldier.’

Never!

Take These Action Steps:

(1) Write down 3 things you can do to help people you know have been wounded.

(2) Start doing them today. Don’t postpone.

 

DEPLOY: 5 Reasons You Should Use Your Talent.

DEPLOY: 5 Reasons You Should Use Your Talent.

via DEPLOY: 5 Reasons You Should Use Your Talent..

DEPLOY: 5 Reasons You Should Use Your Talent.

Recently, I had noticed the video of Lillie McCloud, an incredibly ageless 54-year old grandmother from Florida with an implausible voice, go viral on facebook.

THE X FACTOR: Contestant Lillie McCloud.

In that video she sang CeCe Winans’ “Alabaster Box” at The X Factor USA 2013 and blew the judges away.  I had read some online comments about the video by people who watched it, but I thought it wasn’t worth my time and attention. So I ignored it.

 Until last week.

The comment of a trusted friend about Lillie made me reconsider my decision. I went back to watch the video. Katy (not her real name) rarely comments on her or her friends’ posts on Facebook. But her thoughts about this video caught my attention.

Katy spoke about the Lillie in glowing terms:

“Diction was nearly faultless. She made the lyrics come to life. To keep an audience electrified with a popular song is no mean feat, how much more with a relatively unknown song. That’s how to sing.”

Lillie McCloud’s talent had blown Kate away.

Talk about talent?

She had it. And everyone who’s watched that video will say so.

Talk about talent?

Come walk with me for a moment. We rewind to February 15, 2011. You’re sitting up late with me in my apartment in Leeds, UK, watching British Musical Awards. Enter Adele.

I get charmed by this British artiste as she sings her popular soulful solo, Someone Like You. Britain’s Got Talent. America’s Got Talent. Nigeria’s Got Talent. And…

…You’ve Got Talent.      

Everyone’s got talent.

Each of us has been hard-wired with special abilities that make us do things effortlessly and easily. We have been configured and coded in ways that are peculiar to our personae. These abilities point to our purpose and assignment here. They also are signatures of ownership of us – the seal and stamp of the authority over us. We belong to someone. Sadly though, many people have not discovered theirs. Some who have discovered theirs have not developed them. And some who have developed theirs have not deployed them.

Here are 5 reasons you should deploy your talent:

(1)  Your Talent Is A Gift.

It’s not just a gift; it’s the best gift you could ever receive. Its worth is priceless. No gift originates from the given. It comes from the Giver. That’s why it’s a gift. None of us has anything that we didn’t receive. This truth should do two things to us:

First, it should make us grateful. To the Giver from whom all gifts come. We are tributaries. He’s the Source. The “Omni-Talent.”

Second, it should make us humble. No entrepreneur would puff-up against a financial institution or an investor which lend it money to do business. That would be gross foolishness.

None of us has anything that we didn’t receive. And the Giver took pains to package it to your particular specifications. So it’s not about you; it’s about the Giver. Deploying your talent brings great joy to the Giver.

(2)  Your Talent Is A Trust.

Trust involves accountability. This presupposes that there would be ‘talent audit.’ Each of us will give account to the Giver who entrusted His gifts to us. Scary? That’s the truth. We will give report on how we administered the gift.

If we use it well and for its intended purpose, we would be commended and rewarded. But if we abandon it, abuse it, or misuse it, we would be condemned. The owner has confidence in your ability to deliver. Don’t betray the trust of the Giver. Deploy your gift.

(3)  Your Talent Is Your DNA.

It defines you. It’s your characteristic uniqueness. It’s what stands you out of the madding crowd so you don’t blend in. If the Giver wanted everyone to be alike, then He would not diversify His portfolio of talents.

Your Talent Is Your DNA.

If all of us were footballers, then who would handle the entertainment industry? If all of us were inventors, then who would be literary artists? There is beauty in diversity. When you don’t deploy your talent, you rob yourself of that characteristic flavor. Big time. And you don’t only rob yourself; you rob the world from benefiting from your uniqueness.

(4)  Your Talent Is For Service.

You are not given talent for yourself alone. Though this is part of it, but primarily your talent is for the service of humanity. You are a gift to the world. You must not rob your generation and the unborn generation of what only you can do. You were given that talent to meet a need; to solve a problem; to inspire performance.

Let deploying your talent make others deploy theirs. Let the use of your talent be the reason others find meaning in life. Personal profit should not be the primary reason for deploying your talent.  Personal profit is a natural by-product of deploying your talent.

In whatever area your talent is, put service first. Make it your priority. If you serve well, people will pay handsomely for whatever you bring to the table.

(5)  Your Talent Is For Profit.

Notice this is my last reason. Doubtless, your talent will bring you economic gain. You must not blush. You must not put up false humility. You know that I’m-not-worthy-of-this attitude. No, you don’t need to do that. Go ahead and enjoy the fruit of your labours.

Hours and days and months and years of polishing and publishing your talent will surely yield dividends. In every labour, there is profit. On this side of eternity, there is a law of sowing and reaping. Particularly when you sow in tears.

Footballers. Musicians. Authors. Speakers. Preachers. Actors. Engineers. Lawyers. Programmers. Software developers. Listen. There’s a time to plant, and there’s a time to harvest. I verily assure you: You won’t labour in vain.  For all the pain you’ve borne over the years in skilling and re-skilling your talent, you’ll get a big ROI.  When it comes, don’t blush. Rather, enjoy.

In the light of all these rewards, wouldn’t you start deploying your talents today? Right away?

What’s Your Talent?

Take Action Now!

(1) Make a list of the talents you’ve got. NOW.

(2) Ask people who are close to you what they honestly think you’re good at.

(3) Write down how you can develop these talents.

(4) Write down the different platforms you would need to deploy these talents.

 

Letter To Mr Sower.

Dear Mr Sower,

I have heard so much about you for quite some time now. Many people I know have spoken about your character, generosity, and absolute love for others – a love they insist is rare to find. I have heard people older than me venerate you. The testimonies of these people have been astounding as well as exhilarating. I have basked in the glee of their most profound words.

Truly, you are a great man who has made indelible imprint on the lives of many people. I would have thought that only people from a particular race, ethnicity and social standing would blow your trumpet. Clearly, that has not been the case. To my gladness and bliss, I have heard people of prestigious academic standing; exceptionally rich people; and people of global acclaim – all speak about you in fascinating glowing language.

You absolutely are an amazing person!

And you are so amazing that peasants have sung your praises. You are so amazing that the poor have known your name. You are so amazing that even babies in the womb kick in heartfelt gratitude whenever your name is mentioned. The blind wish they could touch you if you would ever pass by them.  I’m quite aware that people genuinely love you because you have earned their trust and respect. I have seen raw and unpretentious emotions expressed by people who play ball in your court. I am dumbfounded.

I wish to let you know, Mr Sower, that I am intrigued hearing your friends and admirers describe you in ways that make me long to meet you eventually so I could have a first-hand, up and close experience, not a related one. So this letter is a fore-runner to that meeting. But all their encomiums pale into oblivion – and are absolutely incomparable – in the face of your own son’s unveiling of you. I have not seen you, but I have seen your Son Christos. In your Son Christos, I have seen you that I’m yet to see. From the principles of logic, I have seen you. You replicate yourself in your Son.

I was enthused when Christos spoke to us about the significance of your name.

He said Sower is not your family name, but your first name. That the name Sower typifies your characteristic nature.

The Sower

That you are a Sower in every sense of the word. That you just love to sow. That you have an insatiable passion for sowing seeds. When your Son spoke to us, he told us that the seeds that you sow, almost always, are small seeds. He particularly mentioned the mustard seed. I must be honest with you, Mr Sower, that I immediately he mentioned the mustard seed, my mind raced back to my trip to Israel in February 2009.

“So why does your Dad love sowing mustard-sized seeds,” I asked Christos. He smiled and nodded several times as if he had waited all along for me to pop the question. Then in tender tones that caressed my ear, the ‘Son of Man’ (Christos refers to himself by this name) took up his parable:

“A seed is a compressed forest. A seed is the capsule that contains the future. A thought is a seed. An idea is a seed. A thought or an idea is indescribably potent when it is ‘exhaled’ from the Omnipotent nose of Immortality into the fertile mind of relentless mortality. My Dad believes people don’t need an iroko-sized seed. Or a cedar-sized idea. What they need is a drop of slimy fluid into their ‘receiver.’ Just a drop of slimy fluid into their receptive egg-minds.

“You see, Bryce, a mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds. My Dad is a farmer by occupation. He is constantly in the business of planting seeds in the soil – his soil.  His seeds come in different types and forms: an idea; a sentence; a song; a hymn; a mathematical equation; a word someone spoke; a verse of hymn; a line of a song; a phrase; a sentence someone heard in a movie; a chance meeting; a conference you attend; a visit you pay someone; a journey you take; a concert you attend; a poem, article, newspaper, magazine, or book you read; one visual design you see; or one work of art you come across. Bryce, Dad just keeps ‘exhaling’ mustard seeds. Per second. Round the clock. Cyclically. Dad is a creator. And he wants His offspring to co-create with Him. To bring things that don’t exist into existence. It breaks His heart when people are not observant. When they don’t see. When they don’t think. When they don’t process their thoughts. When they don’t brood on what they see, hear, touch, and feel.”

My hands and feet were numb, Mr Sower, after Christos ended his parable.

I felt guilty. Had I been more keen and observant, I would not have allowed precious seeds that were sown in my heart-soil to die immediately. Or to sprout quickly and wither just as quickly because I allowed the sun of life’s maladies scorch them to death before the roots went down. Or to be strangled by weeds of anxiety as they were coming up. Forgive me for wasting your efforts. I’m turning a new leaf.

On one part, this is a letter of penitence.

On the other part, it’s a letter of supplication.

Mr Sower, I’m not asking for a big seed. I don’t necessarily need a big seed.

The Sower

I’m ably sized in certain areas. Yeah – real men should be mega-sized in certain areas (He gives me a thumbs-up). But in this issue of seed, size doesn’t really matter to me. Farmer, give me a big heart, not a big seed. Give me a big heart that can hold a small seed. A big heart of gratitude that would be thankful for, and nor grumble about, the small seed. A big heart to tend the small seed. A big skill to grow the small seed. A big mouth to speak big about and over the small seed. To bless the small seed.  Sower, give me big strength to endure the small seed. To endure the small beginnings. To endure the bumpy process. Give me a big eye to magnify the small seed. Big passion to process the small seed. To process it from ‘what it is’ to ‘what it should be.’ To process it from ‘what it is’ to ‘what it could become.’ To process it from ‘how it is’ to ‘how it should be.’ To process it to what you had already programmed in it to look like. Make my heart a good soil on which your seeds – those tiny drops of slimy fluid – fall. Help me tend and grow these seeds to produce a harvest beyond my wildest dreams.

Dear Mr Sower, I know you still sow seeds.

Into my heart. Steadily. Daily. In the most unusual manner. At the most unusual times. In the most unusual places. Through the most unusual means. Using the most unusual people.

The Sower

Help me recognize these seeds. Help me embrace them. Guard them. Nurse them. Tend them. And grow them. To where they become National academies. Multinational firms. Global organizations. International non-profits. Transnational phenomena. To where these mustard seeds become oak trees and ‘birds’ find shade under their leaves. And to where multitudes worldwide would enjoy bumper harvests.

I’m sharing my deepest feelings with you in this letter, Mr Sower. These, also, are the deepest feelings of those who would read this letter in error. They inadvertently made me their spokesperson.

With unbridled expectation, I look forward to meeting you soon. I’ll come with plentiful harvest from your seven mustard seeds that I grew into seven oak trees.

To you, Mr Sower, with warm affection,

Bryce Edem.

Best Is Better: 8 Ways To Create Excellence In Anything You Do.

Martin Luther King Jr, the renowned civil rights campaigner, once said:

“If a man is called to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or as Beethoven composed music, or as Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause and say, “Here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.”

A CALL TO EXCELLENCE

That is so, but unfortunately, most people will not have the benefit of such a glorious epitaph. And so many people will not even have such a glowing, superfluous commendation while alive.

Too many people are members of the nameless crowd, living an average life, and too few dare to answer the call to excellence.

Make no mistake about this: the world does not celebrate mediocrity. The never-do-wells may receive a few sympathies but certainly no honours. Honour has always been for those who are able to reach for the best within themselves and write their names on the pages of history.

It’s in you…

I’ve always believed that no matter where I am now, I can create and maintain a culture of excellence in whatever I do, and in whatever I’m involved in. I can maintain high standards in my personal life, career, business and any endeavour.

It begins when I look within me.

And I do believe with every fiber of my being that I can rise above an average, mediocre life.  I can be the best, or one of the best.

Anyone can. 

You can.

You can be known by your skills so much that you do not require introductions. You can be too skilled to be ignored; too competent to be overlooked. But the starting point is looking inwards. What is behind you and what is ahead of you are absolutely incomparable to what lies within you. It’s inside. Bring it out!

Best is better!

Excellence is that grade of optimum quality. It is top grade. It is not what you do but how you do it. It is the finishing; the finesse. Each of us – all of us – can become people of excellence. Programming for excellence involves taking deliberate steps or course of action. It first begins with a choice. Not a choice between excellence and mediocrity, but a choice between excellence and average; a choice between best and good.

Until we desire to move beyond what is acceptable and good, excellence will not be compelling, or even necessary. Excellence does not happen to people. People make it happen. It’s a choice. Once you have made up your mind to excel, nothing can stop you. Decide that from today, nothing but the best is good enough for you.

The queen of Sheba visited King Solomon. When she saw the palace he built; the food served on his table; the living quarters of his officials; the organization of his palace staff and the uniform they wore; and the servants who waited on him at feasts – she was breathless.

My personal website will soon be up. But I’ve had one built for a faith-based charity I started in Huddersfield, UK. I wonder what peoples’ impressions are when they visit that website: http://www.rccghuddersfield.co.uk. And have you thought about what their impressions would be after they’ve visited your website?

How we present ourselves says a lot about us. Our work is a reflection of ourselves. We should always strive to autograph our work with excellence. These include our products and services, those who represent us, and the materials we send out.

So whether your staff is presenting your services to a potential client; or you’re speaking at a seminar to professionals in your industry; or you’re introducing your projects to the board of directors of a company for approval; or you’re crafting a proposal to the Government for endorsement – you gotta spice it with excellence. I’m not writing as someone who has completely mastered the arts and rudiments of excellence. I’m writing as someone who is learning daily and making concerted efforts to move from good to best.

EXCELLENCE IS A CULTIVATED HABIT.

A person who wants to bring excellence to bear on all he does will always insist on quality in everything.

He will have absolutes, knowing that whatever little leaven he allows will sooner or later leaven the whole dough. And the difference between good and excellence is attention to details.

There will always be a better way to do things. “Better” is a poor result where “best” is available. Best is better!

So, whatever you do…

Dr Martin Luther King Jr mentioned a street sweeper, a painter, a musician and a poet. I can add that whether you are an employer, a contractor, a trader, a student or a preacher, excellence is possible. Show excellence when you are given a budget to plan. A solo to play. A report to draft. An opportunity to preach. A programme to present on radio or TV. An article to write. A legal case to argue. A piece of art to produce. A lesson to teach. A car to fix. A meal to cook. An insurance to sell. Or a magazine to edit. The quality of your work reveals who you are. You are judged by what you churn out. If you want to be a person of excellence, then you will always need to look beyond the big picture to the fine details.

Begin now!

Dennis Inyang, in his article titled ‘Programming for Excellence,’ says we all can create excellence in what we do if we would do the following:

(1) Never compromise.

Insist on quality in everything. Have absolutes.

(2) Be focused.

Specialization brings distinction. Don’t be a Jack of all trade and a master of none.

(3) Choose your friends well.

If your friends are people of excellence, they will encourage you to press for the best. Avoid scorners.

(4) Get exposed.

Travel. Interact. Read. Especially magazines and Journals. Until you step out of your small world, you may not even know what is possible.

(5) Select your staff.

Don’t hire people on sentiments, or on grounds of compassion. Look for the best.

(6) Keep training.

Sharpen your skills. Upgrade. Improve. Attend seminars, workshops, symposia and conferences. Invest. Excellence costs, but you will be paid a million times over with time. You will get astronomical turnovers on those investments in yourself.

(7) Assess yourself regularly.

You cannot improve unless you know what to improve on. Have a feedback mechanism.

(8) Don’t stop.

EXCELLENCE IS TOP GRADE.

Excellence is not a destination, but a way of life. There should never be a time you have it so much that you need it any more.

You may not attain excellence now in your life, or in the things you do. But don’t lose hope. Keep hope alive. Keep striving; keep going. When you fall, fall forward. And when you get up, light your candle of hope. Keep it burning. Soon and very soon you’ll get there. And when you get there, get better. And when you get better, keep getting better till you make it the best. Or you become the best.

And after you’ve eventually made it the very best, or become the very best…

…Make that best better!

Question:

What steps are you taking to attain excellence in your life and in what you do? Would you share your experience here? What are your thoughts about this article? Post your comments here.

Can You Hold My Ladder, Please?

Last September, Kate, John, Roland and I came for our usual monthly meeting. The sun had begun to hide its scorching rays in the dusk and vigorously beckoned on the moon to come forth in its regal splendour. We could feel the chill of wintry wind winding in. Birds bid us good night as they tweeted their evening songs. We had started a small group that met monthly to share ideas, brainstorm, support each other and explore creative ways to add value to our community through social entrepreneurship.

All of us thoroughly enjoyed no-holds-barred, gut-level, naked-and-not-ashamed, brutally honest discussions of the previous three months. We always looked forward to the next meeting. And there came September. Another time to challenge ourselves. Another time to review our lives. Another time to hold hands together. Another time to share challenges and struggles. Another time to ask for advice and the way forward.

I sensed something strange before we started our discussion. The lively atmosphere we usually enjoy became dull. Conviviality died. I just couldn’t place my finger on what could have gone wrong.

We didn’t come to talk about Leadership, but found ourselves zeroing in on it. It came on the front burner. All of us had experienced different types of Leadership at different times in different places. We began to share our experiences. Each one came with a bespoke story. Kate’s hazel eyes looked like a murderer’s dagger – sharp. John’s finely-chiseled face could melt Gibraltar. And the air which blasted from Roland’s nostrils could generate a Kilowatt of electricity.

First, she “broke the ice.”

Icebreaker Kate began with a forlorn look on her face, clasping her hands. Her usual Pacific-wide, attractive smiles flew into oblivion.  Then she whimpered in a weak voice:

“These past few weeks have been very trying for me at work. I have not had the best of times on my job. My productivity has nose-dived. You all know that I am an unrepentant advocate of good and inspirational leadership. Leadership is a beauty to behold when it lives up to its bidding. Oh the joys of people who are blessed with capable, sound and servant leadership! Leadership that has the skills and competence to take people from where they are, to where they should be.”

Then she paused.

That pause took longer than I anticipated. I thought she was making a recollection so she could continue. No, she wasn’t.

Next, she bowed her head.

She buried her head in her hands. Then a tear dropped. And another tear rolled down. And another. I didn’t get it. What was going on? Why the tears? Why was Kate suddenly overwhelmed? Then she lifted up her head and wiped the tears. With a dampened tone occasionally interjected with abrupt pauses, she continued:

“Recently, I have experienced not very good leadership at where I work. And that experience back-tracked me and walked me down memory lane to some past experiences few years ago in my faith community,” Kate mumbled as her voice began to crack under the weight of emotions. “Leaders should validate their proteges. Every human heart has an intrinsic desire to be affirmed. To be commended. To get a reassuring pat on the back. Human hearts yearn for caring validation and hearty approbation irrespective of race, class, creed, or any other classification. Strong and effective leadership is a powerful tool that can cause the led to operate at their maximum capacity.”

So much power…

“Leadership is a powerful thing. Everything rises and falls on effective leadership.

Leadership is about holding the Ladder.

A leader who can first get peoples’ hearts can get them to do anything. A leader that can effectively articulate, and continuously articulate his vision through various communicative channels, inspires people to buy into the vision. Effective communication is key in leadership. A leader cannot not communicate. I need to say that leadership that deeply loves people, and is genuinely interested in people, will not put people down. Nobody wants to be put down. Not even in private. Leaders break the production capacity and self-esteem of their followers when they verbally abuse them. Or treat them with disdain. Worse still before others. And sometimes they don’t do these verbally, but you will see it in their body language. What they do; what they refuse to do; or how they act – speak loud and clear. Because man cannot not communicate – verbally or nonverbally.”

“I came here with a heavy heart. Can anyone help me? Can anyone advise me? I’ve received several public verbal attacks from leaders at various times in my life – at work, at school, and in church. Severally. Particularly recently at work. I have tried to explain things, but it’s been difficult to sink a point. Have you ever had your cord broken? Have you ever had your heart bruised. Once? Thrice? Ten times? Many times. At work? In school? Somewhere? By those who lead you? We all have virtues and vices. Strengths and weaknesses. I think true leaders should not consistently amplify the weaknesses of their proteges with uncaring abandon. That would break their strides. And it could take a very long time for those broken pieces to be put together again. And their hearts to be mended. And, depending on the personality of the broken, the damage could be near irreparable.”

“Every person has a bad side. John – you do. Roland, I know you do. Bryce – you do. I do. And those bad sides could be nauseating. Very nauseating. But I know you all – John, Roland, and Bryce – are all making steady, concerted efforts to prune them. I’ve noticed your efforts. We’ve talked about this in our past sessions. I am, too. I’m working hard on my bad side. You know what? With the best of my ability, I work hard to achieve good results on the jobs I’m assigned wherever I work. It is draining when your efforts are not appreciated. John, Roland, and Bryce – I need help. I need to detox; to clear this negative emotion. Who here will mend a broken reed?”

Then he broke the silence…

Everywhere was quiet after Kate finished speaking. We all recoiled into our shells. No one dared talk for about five minutes. Then…

John broke the silence:

“Kate, I feel you. I might not have been in your exact situation, but I, too, have had a sour taste of the not-so-good part of leadership. That part that is opposite of good. That part opposite of nice. The part that is opposite of effective. I am not John Maxwell. I am not Bill Hybels. I am not Sam Chand. I am not Ken Blanchard. I am not Colin Powell. I am not a foremost authority on leadership. But I know a little about good leadership. I know effective leadership when I see it. I know that effective leaders “liberalize the space.” “Liberalize the space” is a phrase that I have coined.”

“One thing I know is that effective leaders are not thrifty or miserly with power. I don’t personally subscribe to that paradigm that subordinates should never outshine their bosses. I don’t like that word, ‘outshine.’ Could you give me a break, y’all.? Outshine? No. Not in the sense of competition. I don’t believe in competition. Life is not competitive sports. We all have different gifts and talents, and we should complement and contribute wherever we are. Yeah. Not compete. But contribute. And complement. It’s not a good slant when leaders think that those they lead are outshining them. For me – and I know many others who share my view – the true test of leadership is when your subordinates achieve much more than you have achieved, yet you’re not threatened or unhappy at their results. Look at this. Think with me. Would a father not be proud of his own biological son who achieves much more than him? Would he not beat his chest and shout in exuberance , ‘This is my beloved son in whom I’m well pleased?’

“Effective leaders and mentors are cool with it when their proteges achieve more than them. Let’s cast our minds back to history. Is it not this  pull-the-boy-down mentality that made Saul seek to kill David? Don’t you remember, people? It’s so painful to watch insecure people lead others. Yes, proteges could be more brilliant than their leaders. More educated than their leaders. More attractive than their leaders. More fluent than their leaders. That’s the beauty of the mix. Variety brings colour to the equation.”

“Bad leaders seek to deflate – or exterminate – their outstanding proteges just because those proteges have perceivable or real comparatively advantage over them. It’s sad. It’s so sad. I, John, have had a sour taste of this kind of not-too-good leadership. Kate, it’s not you alone. I, too, have been wounded. And I know some young, vibrant, and upcoming leaders who have been wounded by bad leadership. There are there in the marketplace. There are there in the business world. In Politics? Aplenty. It’s really terrible in Politics. Well, maybe not to rampant in the Church. This poison has killed many fine and promising young people. I don’t think this is right. So, Kate, this is my contribution to the issue you brought up. I had to say something about it. too. Now, what should we do? Do we keep quiet and let the music play on? Are we to be nonchalant and keep dancing to its tune? Do we look the other way and let business continue as usual? My answer, your answer, our answer, is needed now. We must speak now or forever hold our peace.”

When ecstasy is unbridled …

As soon as John finished his tale, Roland bursted out in unbridled ecstasy, praise-singing:

‘‘Mine is the exact opposite of the experiences of Kate and John. Good and effective leadership is better experienced than explained. I have experienced beautiful, effective, servant leadership.

Leadership is about holding the Ladder.

I’ve worked with leaders who have invested in me. Leaders who go from good to great invest in their proteges. Holistically. They see their proteges as extensions of themselves, their work, and their ministries. They keep the big picture ever before them. They see into 50 years down the line after they will have left the stage. They pour out their lives into building others, not just their proteges. By doing that, they’re building a high rise, not a thatched house. By doing that, they’re digging their wells. And they’re digging it real deep. Let me tell you something, Kate, John, and Bryce. Recently, I read a Bible passage in the Gospel of John that I’d love to share with you. You can look up John 4:11-12. It’s about Jacob’s Well. Bible Scholars say that well was 105 feet deep, seven and half feet in diameter, and had in it fifteen feet of water. It was walled with masonry to a depth of about ten feet, below which was cut through solid rock. It was dug through a thick bed of soil to limestone rock. This well showed the ancient engineering skills and how much work the diggers put in. The digging of that kind of well must have been a back-breaking, labourious and costly undertaking. That’s why it lasted for generations after Jacob, and was still producing water at the time about which the author wrote. Tell you what, folks? Great leaders dig deep wells. Because they want their well to still produce water after they are long gone. That’s the greatest investment any leader can ever make. That’s how great leaders live, long after they’re dead and gone.”

“I, John, have had the profound privilege of working with, and serving under secure leaders who are comfortable in their skin. Need I say this? Great leaders are secure. Very secure. They wear the praise on others. When they win awards and accolades, they give others the credit. They depersonalize operations. They are humble. They are not obsessive about people pleasing them. They are comfortable to work with others who disagree with them. They are not authoritative and dominating. They don’t cow people into line. They have learnt how to handle criticisms. They are not defensive. I have served under leaders who admit that they were wrong. Great leaders apologize to the proteges when they are wrong. They are not defensive. They have nothing o prove. They don’t need to prove that they are the boss. They show they are humans, and humans are fallible. I get really broken – in the positive aspect of brokenness – when a leader comes back to tell his protege, ‘You were right; I was wrong. I blew it; pardon me.’ It is very rare to find such leaders. I have had the profound privilege of serving under few of them. Even when I moved on from them, we still keep in touch. We are bonded for life.  Such leaders, I say again, are very rare. They are not self-promoting or competitive. And you know what? They intentionally create opportunities for people to grow. I have experienced this kind of leadership. I long for more of it.”

This has to change!

So, I was troubled by the apprehensions of Kate and John. I knew that something had to change in their lives. Kate and John are my friends, as well as your friends. They are the voices of reason that we often muzzle. Right now as you read this, wherever you are, these voices speak unapologetically to you in tempered, tender tone, ‘‘This has to change.’’

This has to change!

This resolve is occasioned by inspirational thoughts and positive experience of Roland. I couldn’t hold back the anticipation and heart cry for that kind of leadership that Roland had experienced. Kate and John sat up as Roland narrated his experience. I could see a longing in their brimming eyes for something similar. Or more. Kate would like to experience it.  And much more. John would like to experience it too. And much more. Roland, having tasted it, would like to continually experience it. And much more. And I know would like to experience it – if you haven’t. And much more.

Keep searching. Don’t stop till you find…

Kate, John, and Roland are the voices of reason that we often muzzle. If you ever desire to have effective leaders and mentors who can move your life beyond where you are now, I’d love you to know that it is possible. You can have it. It may be difficult to find, but not altogether impossible. Ask, and you shall receive. Seek, and you shall find. Knock, and the door shall be opened unto you. Right now as you read this – wherever you are – these voices speak to you unapologetically in tempered, tender tone, ‘‘Keep searching. Don’t stop till you find.’’ If you have not yet experienced this kind of leadership, start the search. A search for authentic leadership. You have dreams. You have mental pictures of your preferable future. You know where you’re headed. Every day, you put out one foot after the other on the rungs of your dream-ladder. You want to get to the top of that ladder. You want to fulfil your dreams.

CAN YOU HOLD MY LADDER, PLEASE?

But you need the dexterous, skilled, competent, and steady hands of a leader who can hold your ladder while you climb.

Yeah, a leader…who can hold…your ladder!

Is this your deepest cry?

Is this your passionate plea?

Do you need a hand to steady your ladder while you climb?

Are you saying to a prospective mentor, “Can you hold my ladder, please?”

So, as my voice fades, and my pen decelerates to a halt, I’m straining my ears in all directions to hear the soothing whisper of a prospective leader and mentor, who would say to these people on a search:

‘‘Search no more. I will hold your ladder…

… I can hold your ladder.’’

Questions:

Do you have someone who’s holding your ladder? Or are you holding someones ladder while s/he is climbing? Please post your experience here. I look forward to your thoughts on this post.